Category: a day in the crazy life

catch-up

This week is full. But it’s the good kind.

It’s full with work stuff… new things to promote, develop, figure out. Most of that feels good. It also just feels rushed and crazy, but I have a great team of people above and beside me to help me with that.

{especially when I nearly ugly-cry at staff meetings… ah, life as a girl… }

It’s also been full of Mommy-stuff, and this makes me happy, because even though two full plates is too much to fit on one plate, it means that life is resembling some balance. And the Mommy part looks like this:

A New Monday Routine
Sweet Randa finally has a new dance class… and it didn’t matter so much to her that her new leotard was backordered and I packed a wintery one that was a little small and forgot a tutu and so her blue underwear was showing. She was just darn happy to be dancing again. Little Sister, in the mean time, was happy to hang out in the lobby, play with some toys, flip through some books, have me to herself for an hour, and peek through to watch about 5 times…

My initial plan for balance included bringing the girls home for a snack and a breath before the 5:30 class, but since that did not happen, we had to make do:

I think I’m going to like Monday afternoons a whole lot more than Monday mornings!

Another First
There have been so many new things these past few months and weeks, and today was no exception. The girls had their first trip to the dentist. The place we chose (based on recommendations from friends) was great… sunny, cheerful, non-intimidating. And while KK does need a little extra work on the front teeth she bruised in December, both of them received smile-worthy reports.

And they loved the waiting room amenities:

Settling Back Down
After two weeks of wonderful, warm visitors to spoil us, and plenty of excitement, it seems to be time to accept that the season is shifting, and even though the AC is still on, we will embrace chili, pumpkin muffins, spiced candles, and the occasional wearing of sweaters… and new, balanced, Routines.

…well, as routine as this family gets, anyway…

mommy gets schooled by her MFFs

We’ve gotten over the shock of a new school year. Lunch gets made before the last minute. No one has been late to school.

Part of the reason I got through those first 2 weeks is because our whole family was so crazy-busy that we didn’t have a chance to get overly emotional.

Part of it is because Miranda rocks, and she loves school, and bounces up that sidewalk to the door like she Owns It.

And part of it is because of my amazing board of BFFS…or rather, my MFFs: Mama-Friends-Forever. They sent so many nuggets of love and wisdom I wanted to share:

MC:
“So they teach her to read. You teach her about purity, perseverance, a real faith in a real Savior, how to bake homemade hamburger buns…Fear not, friend. But feel free to weep. You are both ridiculously loved.”

 D:
“I don’t know how to explain the push to go after what is in your heart in the midst of being a mother of young(er) children. It is a battle of the soul in the most truest form. How can both burn so fiercely inside me? My wish is for one fire to dwindle so the other can be brighter, but God has not wired me as such. I must balance it all in obedience to His desire for my life. I don’t know why it has to be this way. I don’t know why I don’t have peace putting my children in school…and I don’t know why I have to split homeschooling with the work of ministry. All I know is that it is my portion of life. It’s the life He has for me. I don’t know the end from the beginning, but it is my responsibility to walk it out.”

T:
“The proudest moment you will ever have with them is when they look up at you and ask you to pray with them at the altar.”

MDJ:
“And He’s got this. Until He’s ready for it to be different….but it sucks big time because it’s not what you want…but she’s standing by a palm tree smiling, so life is ok:) “

There was a longer message that inspired this entire blog post, because mostly I was hiding how traumatic this whole thing felt to me, because it seems silly, but it is, as you read above, just not quite what I wanted to be, so I have to get used to it. I am already getting used to God’s plans surprising me, to having to bend my will or pray my desires into matching His. I am getting adept at looking at circumstances as “seasons,” and the truth of this season is that things are calming down at work, and some time for this mama to be organized, focused, and sane might be a good thing. Also: Miranda Loves School, and KK is thriving too.

Another MFF, a fellow self-employed/day-dreaming/big-vision-planning/hybrid school sent mt this and gave me permission to share it : (click to continue) (more…)

redeem the time

Yesterday felt like a Total Fail as far as parenting goes.

The details don’t matter… it was a combination of my own emotional struggle yesterday, fatigue for all of us, missing Daddy, and general overwhelmed-ness.

In thinking about it, I am reminded of the Maya Angelou quote that floats around quite a bit~

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Yesterday, my youngest daughter’s behavior made me feel like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

In turn, I likely made her feel like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, there is just too much going on at one time, and though I shout from the rooftops, “FAMILY FIRST!” I don’t always take action to make it be that way.

But really, once the day is over, what can we do about it?

Usually, nothing.

My mama-friends would say, “Start over tomorrow.”
One of them has inspired me to pray, “Lord, redeem the time.”
And I said to myself, “Use the time you do have, right now.”

So, despite the voices in my head that say things like, “Let her sleep” or “She won’t remember,” when it was time for me to go to sleep, I picked my sleeping 4 year-old up and brought her to bed with me.

She woke up around 3am and I heard,
“Mama, why are you in here?”

I said: “I brought you in my bed.”

She said: “Why?”

I said: “Because I wanted to be with you.”

And then we slept.

~

I am never going to get it right all the time, and sometimes I will totally fail. But may I always remember to try to redeem the time.

out of balance

When there are not enough words, or the right words, to sum it up, to offer, to describe, sometimes, we must simply rely on emotion, on silence, on pictures.

These days, my mind is consumed with balance. I am out of it right now. Work and the girls consume all the time and energy I have. Rod is traveling for the third week in a row, shows at the theatre are now 6 nights instead of 3, and you know…life surrounds us. My girls are feeling the exhaustion and KK in particular has been  s t r e s s e d  out. There is not a lot left for other things, and I feel the loss in particular when it comes to my friends in Chicago. Even the time to text random thoughts through the day has been depleted. I know they’re reading this, and I know they understand; I just hope they also know how much I love and miss them.

All that said, when people are getting killed in movie theaters, my problems are trifles.

So I have no real words tonight, only the need to keep this Chicagolina touchstone going… to tell you we have a few interesting struggles and adjustments right now, but we’re all right… to say I still believe with all my heart that God is in control and the love He gives for us to share is more than enough… to share the pictures that make me smile when I run out of words:

(Ok, well, what’s in the wrapper makes me happier than the wrapper itself…)

(And note to self: stop eating dinner in the car…)

(…or eating popcorn for dinner…)

~

May your specific prayers be answered and angels posted in the corners of everywhere you go.