As the days of summer “vacation” dwindle, I find myself looking for a moment to exhale.
The beginning of summer was pretty peaceful, quite possibly because our little darlings were spending three-ish weeks away and I was napping every afternoon in first-trimester lovely exhaustion.
But the weather got hotter and the kids got more restless and the workload of life has gotten crazier, and my second-trimester blissfulness has not yet kicked in. I’m a little crabby, and to be more specific, I am frustrated. Like, with everything.
I sat in a Bible study this morning in which the main topic is grace (this was part of my work day… one of the perks!) I thought about how grace first really captured me, for real, just moments before I found out Miranda was on her way. (full story here).
And tonight, as I dish out heated up pizza to the kids, on the fifth night Daddy is away and the edge of my sanity, I am telling myself in an inward chant that grace is for everyone.
Grace. Is. For. EVERYONE.
Does that ever just frustrate the crap out of you?
Grace is for whatever neighbor called our out-of-state landlord to complain about our shrubs needing a TRIM.
Grace is for the people who ask questions and then talk over you when you try to answer.
Grace is for the child who asks you for her cup when it is closer to her than it is to you
– or the one who throws her (thankfully, plastic) plate from the living to the kitchen,
– or the one who complains about the spices on the pizza and then about the bread used for her dinner-substitution sandwich
– or the one who repeatedly gets you up at 1:30, 3:30, or 4:30 in the morning.
– or the one who whines for a playdate and then fights with her friend the whole time.
– or the one who is all of the above :)
Grace is for the one who asked you to do something and then doesn’t acknowledge it was done, much less say thanks.
Grace is for the well-meaning person who says all the wrong post-miscarriage things.
Grace is for the toxic personalities who only speak negatively.
Grace is for the ones who complain about what is wrong but refuse to be part of change.
Grace is for the people who forget you, ignore you, or never see you in the first place.
Grace is for the ignorant, the mean, the judgmental, and the selfish.
And you know what else?
Grace is for me – who made every form of bad relationship choices in her teen and young adult years.
Grace is for me – who lied for years to cover those tracks.
Grace is for me – who gets so easily defensive and has difficulty taking criticism.
Grace is for me – who sometimes chews on hurt feelings or righteous indignation like Hubba Bubba until the flavorless lump nearly chokes me.
Grace is for me – who wishes someone would help sometimes but refuses to ask for it.
Grace is for me – who could definitely stand to be a better listener, a better mama, a better soul.
Grace is for me – who sometimes indulges so deeply in loneliness that I am also refusing to see those around me.
Grace is for me – who feels inadequate over frozen pizza dinners, lost patience, and those stupid shrubs.
Grace is for me – who after so much learning and acceptance of grace, still falls into the trap of pursuing perfection so that I will please myself, the people around me, the strangers on the internet, and my Heavenly Father.
Grace is for me – because He is already pleased.
Grace is for you – whether you identify with pieces of this list or have one of your own.
Grace is for us.
Grace is for everyone.