Since I can remember, friendship has been one of the central forces in my life. And I have always struggled with it. I want to be great at it. And I want to be matched with people who are going to give it like I do. I love being in the throws. I want to run around together. I want to do life together. I want BFFs.
But grown ups have to adjust to friendship in different ways. You can’t responsibly drop everything to do all the things you want to do out there with everyone, and leaving my intimate friendships back in Illinois or scattered in other places has been a challenge. I want to hang on to them and try impossibly to keep everything the same, and I also want to forge friendships here that are comfortable and feel lifelong, and that is hard-so-hard to do.
Enter my children. It’s another absolute blessing they bring to me. I love to study how they do friendship. They each have a little of me in them: KK is fiercely loyal and wants everyone to like each other. Randa delights in the company of “her people,” and she loves big.
Tonight Randa has her BFF spending the night. As I tucked them into Randa’s bed, I looked up to see my little girl with the biggest smile on her face. She reached over and touched her friend on the cheek, reveling in the moment of togetherness.
It is one of the purest joys we can experience, but its season is short. We cannot keep friendships like we have as children, but I am grateful for the chance to watch my children have them. No drama, no complications… just slices of life shared and hands held and precious little giggles down the hall.