This morning I stepped on the scale to see something I’ve been wishing for for about a year and a half…


a number below 160.

(ouch. I can’t believe I told you that).

Now, this number wasn’t much under, but it is FOR REAL under.

After stops and starts and frustration and clothes that fit like sausage casings and uncontrollable cravings and stops and starts, I think I found a formula that works for me:

moderate exercise. I will likely never run a marathon, but I like walking on the beach more than just about anything, and I do enjoy the gym when I can actually get there (my membership was a lovely gift, but the gym itself is neither near or on the way to any place else for us, so it’s gotten harder to get to…)

– eating more naturally. I haven’t given up Velvetta yet. But other than occasional pasta and some chips, I am not eating chemical-‘enhanced’ foods. If we want it, I make it. We are also eating out way less than we ever have. Whether this is directly tied to weight loss doesn’t matter. It’s just healthier.

the blues. Ok, I don’t recommend this, but the fact is, my feeling lonely, discouraged, and isolated is no longer helped by eating. It has finally gone the other way for me: I just don’t find a lot of joy in eating during this season of life. And for that, I am glad…social, stress, and reward eating are dangerous addictions, and for the last few years, I have had all three. Learning to enjoy/cope/navigate/ these conditions without LOOK!FOOD! is a life change for the better. I hope I make it stick.

– ZIJA.  About 6 months ago, my friends Jon and Julie introduced me to a system that has become a lifestyle for them. Zija is a combination of a morning energy/nutritional drink, appetite suppressants, and a cleansing tea. I started in December and actually lost 5 pounds over the holidays! I gained a little back during our Disney trip, but am on track again. It is working so well for me. (click here to learn more)

I still have 20 pounds before I am official pre-pregnancy weight. My next goal is to lose another 9.5, though…and to find cute jackets that I can actually button. The picture above is me in June 2007 at 150. I was pregnant with Kaity here but wouldn’t know for a few days…and we were on vacation in Myrtle Beach. This was at the Hard Rock Cafe (celebrating Josh’s 16 birthday), and Randa was 7 months old. Be still, my heart.

And be loose, my jeans.