The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.
The world and all its people belong to him.

For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas
and built it on the ocean depths.
Who may climb the mountain of the LORD?
Who may stand in his holy place?
Only those whose hands and hearts are pure,
who do not worship idols and never tell lies.

They will receive the LORD’s blessing
and have a right relationship with God their savior.
Such people may seek you
and worship in your presence, O God of Jacob.
Open up, ancient gates!
Open up, ancient doors,
and let the King of glory enter.
Who is the King of glory?
The LORD, strong and mighty;
the LORD, invincible in battle.

Open up, ancient gates!
Open up, ancient doors,
and let the King of glory enter.
Who is the King of glory?
The LORD of Heaven’s Armies—
he is the King of glory.
(Psalm 24:1-10 NLT)

For the past 2 months, we’ve been living in a state of waiting, hoping, fighting discouragement…an emotional rollar coaster between fight or flight, between faith and failure.

For the past three years, after we’d made the decision to Become Full Time Ministers, whatever we thought that meant, we’ve been on that ride, quite honestly. It’s not a huge leap to look at opening doors, walk through, and follow where God is leading you. We are supposed to obey Him. It doesn’t really make us brave or wonderful when we do the things required by Him. It just makes us obedient.

The leap, I guess, comes when we walk through an open door and find ourselves standing in front of a brick wall.

We have trusted, we have obeyed, we have risked, we have prayed, we have given of ourselves, and yet… There is no clear answer. There is no clear path. And we are left standing at the seeming end of a journey with nothing tangible to show for it, and a bag full of answered questions as to what we should do next.

So then what? When there is no apparent command in front of you, what exactly do you obey? When there is no clear answer in sight, do you ask a different question? When the promise you’ve been given has been confirmed over and over again and still, you do not see it coming to life, do you doubt that it was ever true?

When you are a battle-weary warrior and the fight seems to have ended with a whimper and not a victory cry, do you lay down your weapons or look for another war?

Rod and I have been wrestling hard with these questions. I don’t mean to be veiled in secrecy about these circumstances; the fact is probably clear to regular readers that ‘things’ have not unfolded as planned since we moved to Myrtle Beach to run the theater. The summary is that the theater has been delayed various times for unforeseen reasons beyond our control, and while we are still very much planning to open ASAP, we are waiting for some things to be put into place first. This has caused us stress, worry, second guessing, face-saving, and in our lowest moments, questioning our place and our purpose in a grand scheme that we are sure is authored by God, even though it hasn’t gone how we envisioned it.

There are a lot of lessons I am learning in this time of balance, of figuring out a balance between faith, fight, and flight. But this week, as our church leaders gathered in the still-under-construction theater to pray with us, I was reminded of some very important truths that seem to, have to outweigh them all:

Everything belongs to God. He doesn’t need us to offer it to Him, although in obedience, we should. He made it. He created the Earth, the people in it, and every open door that is set before us.

We will only succeed if we put Him first. The Word teaches us that the holy will reach the top of the mountain. We’ve put such a poor connotation on the word holy. But it doesn’t mean ‘holier-than-thou.’ In fact, it means forsaking our comparisons to others for a focus on God’s holiness, on Jesus’ pure example. I am far, far, far from meeting that mark, but I can attest that for the past nine years, it has become the priority in my life. Make me more like Jesus. Help me cast aside things that hold me back, that distract me, that keep me from being everything I was created to be. Holiness is there at the top of the mountain. Strive for holiness, and victory is ours.

The battle is the Lord’s. It does not make me weak or a failure to admit that *I* have no power in a situation. In fact, I am never powerless, because I can always call upon HIM. God will be victorious in my circumstance. The hard part is accepting that it is not in my control…and that sometimes, He is calling me not to the front lines of battle, wielding my sword and shouting like a banchee. He is calling me to my knees, to surrender to Him.

Even after all the Lord has done for us: His blessing on our marriage, His restoration of our ministries, His healing of my infertility, sometimes I doubt. Sometimes I settle for the scraps and forget that I am called to feast as a joint heir with the Son of God.

I am not called to run.

I am not always called to fight.

But I am eternally called and equipped to put my faith in the King of Glory.

And so I know, though surrounded by evidence to the contrary, the answer is on the way. It will be immediate, it will be more than enough, and it will point to HIM. Amen.

What mountain are you climbing right now? Share here, and you will be in my family’s prayers.

I spent a day after writing this one pondering its purpose, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it is time for me to be a bit more intentional with this self-published space. Please consider this the first of weekly devotionals. I will theme it or something later, but for now, I just want to be held accountable to write them, on a regular basis, as the good muse I call God inspires me.