Post-September 11, 2001, Martina McBride’s stunning song about domestic violence was used with a different, just as chilling and significant meaning:

Days of reckoning are not fun. On September 11, 2001, I was in a much different place in life. Of course, much of my own life was swept aside and seemed meaningless for a time. But my days of reckoning from my mistakes were on their way.

They aren’t fun, those times when we must face our mistakes, take responsibility for our actions, live with the consequences. I thank God every day for the grace He gives; I know every day that I don’t deserve the fully satisfying life I have. I know His love surrounds me in the form of my family, especially in the two precious children He allowed Rod and I to have together.

But there are still consequences and there will always be. And we have no one to blame for those except ourselves.

~

Who is to blame for the heartbreak, the tragedy, the world-changing Tuesday, September 11, 2001? We will never know all their names, and some of them will get away with it, here on earth. But there is a day of reckoning, when all those who do evil, unabashedly, without shame or regret, will have to pay the price for what they did, for the lives they took and the ones they ruined.

~

Independence Day… now that’s a friendlier term. Most of our American life is spent freely making decisions, whether they are wise or foolish, generous of selfish. Again, I often make incorrect decisions…usually stemming from my impatience or anger. I say things I either don’t mean or shouldn’t say out loud. But one thing I have reckoned with is a desire to tell the truth.

Today the truth is: I am aggravated by some of the circumstances of our blended family, but I know the consequence of my own actions means I cannot control or change those things. The truth is, I am more apathetic about September 11, 2001 than I ever dreamed I could be; not because it is any less important, but because the day-to-day of my own grown-up life has distracted me. The truth is, I can still barely stand to watch footage from that day, but I will, to remind myself of what was lost and also of what a beautiful, though short-lived, aftermath of unity took place in our country.

We lost it then, and looking around at our so-called community, while I see a lot of good and coming together and paying it forward, as my friend puts it, I also see a lot of judginess, small-mindedness, and lack of compassion.

~

It’s not secret on this blog or anywhere else that I believe in the sanctity and sovereignty and salvation only through Jesus Christ. And today, that is the only truth I really view as stable and sure. In a world where towers as high as the World Trade Center can fall, so can so many other things we view as permanent.

Today the truth is: I believe one day the weak will be strong, the right will be wrong. But the stone? It’s already rolled away, and thankfully, it covers every wrongdoing I make, every one that you make, if only we ask.

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