I don’t have any doubts about ideas or plans or guidance coming from God. I know it happens. Most if not all of the major decisions in our lives have stemmed from that belief in the past several years, and while the results were not always – or hardly ever – what we anticipated or thought we wanted, they were always in our favor.
For the last two weeks or so, I have felt like God was on the other end of my tin can attached to string. I see signs and wonders everywhere. Some of them take a small stretch. Case: The fact that the Branson Dunkin’ Donuts closes for the winter seemed to scream at me, You’re not moving here. We all know how much I like my coffee and on occasion, or occasionally each day if I happen to be pregnant, a donut or 3, but this in and of itself is not a deciding factor in whether we will move to Branson. However, having lived 33 years just a hop-skip-jump from one of the biggest cities in the country, I’m a little used to having certain amenities, locales, 24-hour stores right there. There are other factors in our decision, like distance from Chicagoland and 33-years worth of people and roots, that put Branson in 2nd place for our next home. But that DD marquee summed a lot of it up.
Fast forward to our week in Nashville, during which I had more conversations than I can recollect – several completely random – that seemed to be pointing, inspiring, confirming things for me.
I even woke up one morning with the remnants of a DREAM that held SPECIFIC DETAILS and a NAME for a new project. I carried it with me, in the back of my mind, through the weekend and all the way home. Then I talked to some people about it. Then a new friend of mine shared my passion and we ignited each other and made notes and stuff.
Then.. we discovered that many aspects of the idea and THE NAME are already in existence.
What a … friggen letdown. Why would God ‘give me a dream’ that someone else already had? And why do I even care? I have enough things to do.
But I cannot shake it.
So where to go now? Well, this is a struggled-for answer. Through another meeting for another project I had on Friday morning, I received and have been wrestling with this question:
What if someone is praying for a person to rise up and take the reins, and that person is YOU?
I mean, just last night, someone answered a completely-unrelated request of mine and became an answer to my prayer. I know this happens; I have no doubt. BUT… what if you’re not SURE if there is a prayer going out? What if you believe you might have an answer, but you’re not sure what the question is?
“Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – The eternal wisdom of Ferris Bueller
I am usually the girl who makes decisions immediately, who takes it and runs with it, who stays up all night until it is finished (and subsequently finds the teensy mistake…later). This time, I am trying to mull, to pray, to survey, to question, to research, to wait.
But in the long run: ‘‘I’d rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not done.’‘ (Lucille Ball).
It’s an oddity to have an answer and be unsure of the question.