The babies are napping. This is the second day in a row they both went down for me (Kaity always does; Miranda, not so much).

I should be cleaning the kitchen floor

I should be putting dishes away.

I should be working on Branson GMC.

I should be answering emails.

I should be organizing the to-do list for later today and the rest of this week. (Really? I should take this off this list. That just sounds ridiculous! Anal retentive much, Kelly?)

I should be reading Eat, Pray, Love before the library policeman comes and takes it away. It’s borrowed from another branch and already past due.

I should be reading a devotion.

I should be eating something sensible for lunch (but at least I’m eating nothing and not junk!) and drinking something without caffeine.

I should be working on the check book.

I should be ordering Josh’s graduation announcements(!!)
What I am doing:

– still crying over Maddie.

– missing Rod, who is gone until Thursday night.

– actually listening to nothing but the birds outside.

– thinking of plans for this weekend, because things keep getting switched around.

– thinking of alternative swim lesson plans (because our park district’s ‘s schedule is not going to work for us).

– thinking of all the stuff I should be doing.

It’s been a good week. Mother’s Day was a little bit fabulous for me, though it is very much seasoned with my thoughts of others for whom it was not so good. In all my shared sorrow for those who have lost children, I forgot about those who have lost moms, and it’s a sad day for them too.

I am working on letting go of some weights. There are aspects of the convention I cannot control. There are wants people have that I cannot deliver. There are idiosyncrasies of my own that I cannot satisfy right now. So I am working on letting go of those things, of giving my all and not trying to give what I don’t have. I should be looking around more often at what I do have, especially those baby smiles and those teenager hugs and a husband who still thinks I am fun and sexy. I still get along with my parents. I haven’t lost any friends in awhile. My sweet sis-in-law called to thank me today for helping with a dicey situation. Maybe, for the first time in my life, I should be just doing what I’m doing.

Photo: Totem pole from Sunday

Comments

comments