“…a constant commerical for happiness.”

That’s me. My friend Renee says it, and she knows. She has known me for (ahem) 27 years, through innocent, shameful, wonderful pieces of my life.

Because of friends like her, I know it’s ok to be happy, that I don’t have to look over my shoulder all the time wondering who resents my happiness, who slanders it, who would like to take it away.

Last week will probably stick out as a bit legendary in the timeline of my life. I mean, it’s not all the time one falls all the way down in the Walgreens parking lot… um… and all. In my reflective/obsessive way, I have turned it over and over in my mind and heart and dreams, and I need to be done.

There were some good times back then, there are some great ones ahead. A few people left me, but many have stayed and more have come.

I laughed out loud when we sang this in church yesterday; I can’t remember the last time I even heard it. I was thinking all last week how the high road, frankly, sucks sometimes. And even that childish, indulgent thought was heard by God… and He sent me this response:

I’m pressing on the upward way,
New heights I’m gaining every day;
Still praying as I’m onward bound,
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay;

Though some may dwell where those abound,
My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.

I want to live above the world,
Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;
For faith has caught the joyful sound,
The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I’ll pray till heav’n I’ve found,
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up and let me stand,
By faith, on Heaven’s tableland,
A higher plane than I have found;
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.
– Words by Johnson Oatman, Jr.